Growing up, I thought I was already a Christian as I was baptised as a little girl and confirmed in Anglican Church. In my adult life, I started using alcohol; initially it was just a glass of wine just to relax. By 2011, I was drinking nonstop and I was addicted to alcohol. I abused wines and spirits and I had to stay on high to function. I wanted to stop drinking but I had no idea how to.
I needed drink to stay ‘alive’. I often wondered why God would make me just so I would end up this way. I thought He was angry at me and was judging me ready to deliver punishment. I could not relate to God whatsoever. To me He was distant and I felt that the only way He would accept me was if I was perfect. Life was totally unbearable; but drink made it ‘somehow’ worthwhile’ until I woke up with a terrible headache and with no money to buy more booze...
How I found hope
Sometime towards the end of 2011, I picked up a leaflet about CAP. This is how I met Carin and this was the beginning of a journey of transformation. I found her to be very encouraging, kind and caring in so many wonderful ways. This is how I learnt about MCC.... But I had no real drive to come to church. However Carin offered to pick us up and drop us back from Church each Sunday. I thought she was an angel! She would diligently pick us up every Sunday morning and drop us back home. Sometimes her and Vee would take us out for lunch. For months Carin remained encouraging and supportive in numerous ways including picking Skye from my house every Friday evening to and from Oasis. She is an angel.
We started coming to MCC at the beginning of 2012. I joined the Pastor’s discipleship course in May –June 2012 which was an amazing opportunity to learn, ask questions and really grow in my faith in Christ Jesus. I opened my heart personally to Jesus on 7th June 2012. I then had an opportunity to go to Derbyshire with the Church Weekend straight after and this was another opportunity to learn about God’s love, and to be with a loving Christian family. Knowing that this is the place God wanted me to be I became a member of MCC in August. I then followed this up by going on the Exploring Baptism course with Pastor Dave last November 2012. I have learnt that God is love that He cares about me deeply; He does not expect me to come to Him perfect; after all Christ Jesus died for me while I was a sinner. God received me just as I was, stained with sin but what He asks is that I fully submit to Him just as I am so that He can transform me. However, there is no spiritual growth without prayer and if i don’t pray. Above all, God’s grace is sufficient for me, and His strength is made perfect in my weaknesses.
I have also learnt that God cares about me materially as well as spiritually. If He blesses us it is to become a blessing to others.
I have been amazed at how faithful God is. I have learnt that I cannot out give God. The Lord has granted us peace, joy and love. I see so many wonderful changes in my life which would never have happened through any other way except by The Lord. I had numerous bad habits which the Lord has now set me free from. For example, I was a shopaholic… I could not stop buying clothes, shoes and handbags .... Now I am satisfied with what I have and I have learnt to appreciate everything. I could never fall asleep without alcohol, now I sleep like a baby. God is also teaching me to receive His love completely, to love Him with everything in me and to allow myself to be a channel of love to others. I still make mistakes and I get tempted but if I fix my eyes on Jesus, He helps me. Also when I was being treated for alcohol abuse, doctors thought I had damaged my liver and/or kidneys because of the substantial amount of alcohol I consumed. So I went through a thorough medical check and all the results came back negative. This was a miracle. God has sustained me spiritually, emotionally and physically. He has set me free from a wrong belief system and changed me. The only belief system I desire is Christ Jesus and I am praying to see God save, change & restore lives of my own brothers and sisters and my mum in Kenya who are perhaps confused about all the wrong teachings/belief systems available out there. God is able.
Thank you too to all the members of MCC for your amazing support. It’s wonderful to be part of a really loving church and we are very proud to be members.
I rely on God’s grace and mercy to get me through and He has been faithful.